Sunday, November 27, 2005

No one knows what no one says!

And who would have guessed that excessive alcohol consumption, sex and not really having to do anything would be so damn good?

I just got back from my delightful binge and now must work.
This saddens me.

I am less sad though due to my new job at the glorious blue waters restaurant. Sexy.

In other words there is much there for me, what is your life? It’s there too, but how?

Sunday, November 20, 2005


I’m so tired of being politically correct!

Shit to that! I quit! Our whole society is so obsessed with not offending people, with doing out little bit of good to cancel out our whole lot of bad.

“Sure, we drive 4-wheel drives in the city and mess up our kids by forcing them to act in telemovies about Jesus, BUT AT LEAST WE DON’T HATE NIGGERS. That makes it all ok. Look at all my fucking black friends at this dinner party. We’re eating the last remaining animal of this species tonight, and we’re doing it in a HOMOSEXUALLY FRIENDLY WAY.”

I mean I’m the first person to advocate being nice to everyone, but stop lying to yourselves people.

In other news I’ve decided that everyone is a hypocrite. Especially me. I mean I say and do completely different things all the time. Do I back up my heartfelt gut feelings with actions? Of course not. And you don’t either. I KNOW  that you don’t. I think at least we should stop faking it and just look in the mirror and say “Yes! I am ruining the planet! I do treat other people like crap! I eat to much fake food and I ran over your fucking dog with a lawnmower because it’s a bitey little shit! I AM NOT A GOOD PERSON!”

Then I will love you like the wave on the reef and the lion in the photograph.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

The Loveheart has Landed!

WOOOOOOOOO! FREEEEDDDOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

And so forth.

I also sent my angry “why are there no cartoons” letter to the West today. I’ll keep updating my verbal battle as it happens.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Easily the joke of the week.

Donald Rumsfeld is briefing the president about a military accident in South America.

“And the bad news is that three Brazilian soldiers were accidentally killed,” says Don.

“OH MY GOD!” exclaims the president.

There’s a large stunned silence around the room as nobody expected the president to show such emotion and heart.

“Wait… how many is a brazillion again?”

Sunday, November 13, 2005


Where are all the attractive bisexual nymphomaniacs hiding? I bet they’re at Mark’s house. Let’s all go to Mark’s house!

So I’ve been listening to a lot of Death Cab for Cutie lately, (who by the way my mum reckons have the worst band name she’s ever heard, and this is from someone who loves ELO and The Bay City Rollers), and one thing I’ve tended to notice is that they don’t have a great deal of lyrics do they?
I mean, granted, the ones they do have are really, really nice and make me feel like I should be in a caring relationship or something, but they just have about a verse and a chorus per song. As is my observation anyway. I only have 2 of their records and ones just an extended EP.

Another person who doesn’t write very many lyrics in his songs is Woody Guthrie. Track down the Lyrics to Lonesome Man… actually no fuck it, I’ll post them here.

Today has been a lonesome day
Today has been a lonesome day
Today has been a lonesome day
And it looks like tomorrow'll be the same old way

Did you ever hear a church bell toll
Did you ever hear a church bell toll
Did you ever hear a church bell toll
It's a sign that another good man done gone

See, they’re like all the same but really good. Just like Deathcab.

I’m sure none of you give the slightest shit. Just an observation how some things like that can work, depending on who’s doing it.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

I'll prod your eye!

My sister gave into the iPod craze today. She’s a pod person.

Frankly I think they’re pretty useless, and the whole digital music age has passed me by as a result.
I prefer my record collection and my cd collection. It’s just so crap having all your music on an iPod. Or a computer. As if I’m going to keep my computer forever to hand down to my children. Or be bothered to burn it all to crappy CD-R’s just so I can have a physical, non-crashable copy. It’s too much trouble for it’s worth.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

I'm "Dave Hughes Angry"

Oh boy do I ever need to post here.

Well, I would have, ya see, but there’s been a strange and wonderful lack of ANYTHING IN MY LIFE.

I am be-swamped with study for these infernal examinations, (get to end of the goddam grass love heart bitch) and in any free moment I’m learning to drive and drawing my daily comic.

I’m also writing a huge angry impassioned letter to the goddam West Australian for continuing to strip me of my beloved comics page! I can take losing Cathy, she was only 25% funny anyway, but when you strip me of my wizard of Id and Jeremy I cannot take your stupid fucking Japanese number shit any longer! GET BENT NEWSPAPER.

Join me in this PLEASE. If the West gets enough angry letters kicking their lazy butts, they might actually bring back our comics. Plus they might introduce new ones, Australian ones, go local industry! So shit on them, shit on them for me.
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