Gods in the Chrysalis

We are 15 times more likely to have sex this week than receive hand-addressed mail. Only 100 years ago, people were roughly (and this can only be assumed, since there’s not a lot of pre-WW1 hanky panky data floating about) 55 times more likely to get the mail.

And we say we don’t live in the greatest of times!

I’m absolutely wrecked. My body feels like my brain is launching fireworks, and that the explosion shockwaves are sending tsunamis down my veins and arteries to wash and swamp into each other, causing me to shiver and shake like a heroin addicted Michael J Fox. My nose feels like someone’s holding an angry political protest rally inside it, and my lips are so dry I’m worried that all the water I keep drinking to try and stop this is just accumulating in hidden pockets of my body, waiting to squirt out inappropriately at anyone passing by, or worse, diluting my precious tsunami blood. Which might explain the delirious feeling that I can’t fully concentrate on my fingers typing. I just know that they are, and see this thing moving but I’m typing solely on a kind of practiced routine, a rhythm and I can’t actually see the tips hit the letters.

I feel like a large angry hairy man, made of billions of tiny virus cells, has been subsumed into my body against my will. It’s a kind of micro biotic rape. And he’s not too happy about being in there either, but my bastard brain government is holding him in my Sinus-Baxter detention centre in the hope of processing information about this intruder. DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH ANALOGIES!? I can’t hear you! No really, I can’t… I have so much gunk in my aural cavities…

I want everyone to know how the world keeps turning even when individuals lose their grip on its function. The really influential dive in and out of this title, but the force of life lift them higher even when they are not in control of their bodies and minds.
We must occasionally turn ourselves over for judgment, to a lover, to a group of strangers, to a “family” group based on blood connections, we must all be prepared to be carried when we are not walking. Otherwise, how can we expect people to watch us walk the rest of the time? If we were always walking, setting examples, being influential, we would not need them to carry us ever. And thus they would not watch us walk. I am torn under by humanity, human inadequacy, but buoyed by the re-acceptance I take on faith.
We must, as completely lonely individuals, trust in others.

I trust that if I’m doing anything right, then what is important to me will see me as the same. I’m not much of anything right now, but I have a well of passion so deep I know it rivals any living person’s, I know how few people believe in anything. But tonight I feel like crap, like a fire burning damp logs. And I still care, and I still burn, so forgive me if I can’t be every pinnacle you have come to expect. I will be higher and stronger for you in times to come.

Cold men nourish the kindling of a tiny flame, for in it is potential for them to be warm.