Monday, April 10, 2006

Muse

I’m seriously looking into Scientology. Discourage me friends, before I get carried away; it’s really interesting.

I’ve abandoned my previous spiritual quest which largely involved the Oculatum… a 16th century British text made up of chapters of 6 prosaic folk sayings, which you were to repeat a number of times. This endeavour was dissuaded by the persistence of the advice to suck, and by the general feeling that it was intended to reinforce the feudal system.
I dabbled with the idea of following my sometimes idol Alan Moore into worshipping the sock-puppet Egyptian snake god Glycon, but that’s a bit… well you can’t just follow the crowd can you now?

So Scientology (Irony bells, yes)… see, I have no intention of actually performing the audits that are required for official faith to the church, because I don’t have 2 grand to throw around, but for all non-monetary purposes I’m a practicing scientologist. I’m definitely buying the books. I want to see how Hubbard works his magic.

In a fortnight’s time when Dianetics is gathering dust on my “Shelf of Shaman Shame” you can laugh, but until then, no mocking the celebrated celebrity faith around me.

In other news I have serious doubts about the Bush government’s intentions regarding Iran. At this rate the president is on a crash course with the nickname “IRA Bomber” by trying to take out pretty much everywhere that begins with those letters.
My doubts don’t involve any silly persisting nag like the nuclear question, or fears for loss of my life or others’, no I’m seriously concerned that in engaging in a military conflict here, the US government will become, effectively, un-defendable. No possible skerrick of hope that I maintain for the President, or his staff, will remain.
I hold a VERY accommodating attitude towards the Bush administration, much more so than any other liberal college lefty that I know, and I’m willing to do battle, on their terms. I’m willing to take into account many perspectives, but face it people, you’d have to be unforgivably politically insane to get involved with Iran.
It’s obviously not enough that less than 72 hours after reassurances there was no possible chance in hell the situation in Iraq was that of ‘Civil war’ shit look where we are now people! With opinion polls at a nadir and rampant domestic plagues, not half of which are the serious circumstances surrounding the leaking of information… Mr “I will prosecute.” Wank. So the home front is livid after a string of hurricane no relief, wire tapping and media leaking, the eastern front is chaos with a mosque falling almost every day, the international dominant policy still maintained by every other country since the early 1950’s being reformed and bird flu threatening outbreak (fully sick health system!) the very WORST thing you could do is plan tactical nuclear strikes on suspected Iranian WMD targets.

POLITICALLY UNFORGIVABLE.

I still stand by the government. They have at least one fairly won election under their belt and nothing, not even the much quoted Nazi regime, could ever be 100% bad. 99… we’re pushing for it folks, but never 100. Until we all see the Iranian issue come to a head, hopefully not a warhead, I reluctantly support the President.
Last chance, mateys, and you’d better not fuck this big boy up or Dicky Nix will look like a fucking saint among men compared to your glowing plutonium assholes.

Enough of religion and politics! Let’s boogaloo!

It’s tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that’s right on time
It’s tricky!

Don’t be tricked, buzzcocks, think for yourselves!

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://www.scientomogy.info/

From your friendly neighbourhood scientology-hate-monger

April 10, 2006 8:24 PM  
Blogger Cal Samson said...

Heheheheheheheh gold.

I love the fact that "couch-jumping" has entered the english language as a general expression. Like "wardrobe malfunction" minor celebrity lapses are endless media fun!
I think we should have a sweepstakes of the next who the next big celeb to be hit will be. The winner gets a monopoly on the mocking...

April 10, 2006 9:23 PM  

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